


Give Me Love. (BTS - Mafia AU)

by ClassyTomboy9327



Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Angst and Fluff and Smut, ChanBaek - Freeform, Crimes & Criminals, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Murder, Other, Romance, Slow Burn, Violence, lots of ships, yuppo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2019-10-09 13:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17407655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyTomboy9327/pseuds/ClassyTomboy9327
Summary: ♪_"You know I'll fight my cornerAnd that tonight I'll call yaAfter my blood is drowning in alcoholNo I just wanna hold ya"_♪"What song is that?" I asked."A song my heart sings when it wants you." He replied.~♪~'Even amidst the pain and torture love will always find you.'





	1. Description

**__ **

**_Ships:_ **

> YoonMin (Ultimate one)

> TaeKook

> NamJin

> HopeMark

 

**_Warning: (Triggers)_ **

> Gayness. 

> Angst

> Self Harm

> Disorders

> Violence

> Blood

> Language (I curse like a sailor sometimes, so.)

 

**_Includes:_ **

> BTS

> Got7

> Seventeen

> EXO

> Other bands (mentioned here and there)

 

**_Need to know notes before reading:_ **

> Members Age: 

\- Jin: 21

\- Yoongi: 20

\- Hoseok: 19

\- Namjoon: 19

\- Taehyung: 18

\- Jeongguk: 17

\- Jimin: 16 (He's the youngest in the story.)

> It contains triggering content. 

> Some random rants from me will also be there. Be ready, lol.

> At last, pls do enjoy.

 

OH, AND do listen the songs I would mention in the chapters if you get time! :)


	2. Prologue

**Third Person's POV:**

"So, who are we dealing with this time?" A man in black cloak questioned the lady standing in front of him with files.

"Criminals?" She asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yeah, yeah, I know that much. I meant who. And if you have called me it is supposed to be really serious, ain't it?" He asked with a smirk on his face. The woman looked hardcore ready to deck his face right then and there until she was interrupted by her boss.

"You still like to annoy people for fun, huh,  _Chanyeol_?" The guy asked with a chuckle as he got the files from the woman. She shook her head not finding the situation the least funny.

"Oh well, you know how fun it can get. It is so much fun," Chanyeol teased.

"Boss, I want to kill him," the woman glared at Chanyeol.

"There, there,  _Irene_ , he is a lovely man. He just likes to mess with you a lot," the boss chuckled.

"Uh huh, I don't like it though, I am going. Call me back when you are done with the asshole," She leaves the room and makes sure she slams the door in a way to show her frustration.

"I wonder how you deal with her everyday,  _Junmyeon_ ," Chanyeol asked with a stifled laugh.

"She is one of the best agents so obviously," Junmyeon shrugged before taking out some papers and spreading them on the desk they were standing next to. "Their profiles. The ones we are dealing with this time are the ones the whole of Seoul is scared of. I am trusting you with this mission because I believe you are the only one who can actually do it based off on your history."

"Ah, so that's why she was pissed," He questioned.

"Not exactly, there was another reason," He started as he looked up at Chanyeol, "Let's say I added fuel to fire when I said this information."

Chanyeol merely chuckled and looked at the profiles.

"Bangtan?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup. Their criminal history is the worst. Each member had their own. Theirs range from pickpocketing to 4th degree murders. And now, together they are the worst nightmare. Somehow the kidnapping rate has shot high since they came into play with the world. It is worsening day by day and people are begging at this rate for help," Junmyeon mutters and scrunches his face.

"Let's see," Chanyeol stared at the first profile.

"RM, the leader of Bangtan. No one, and I mean no one, dare tried to poke him. People basically run for their lives when they hear his name in a whisper," Junmyeon explains.

"Juvenile Delinquent?"

"Boy tried to kill his bullies with a mere baseball bat," Junmyeon explained.

"Jesus, shouldn't we be abandoning baseball bats?" Chanyeol teased.

"Now's not the time. And I don't think normally children are as psychotic as him," He murmured.

"Wait though, it states he is the most sane one," He asked with wide eyes.

Junmyeon chuckled, "You can imagine how bad the others are."

Chanyeol shuddered at the thought and moved on to the next person.

"Prince..." Chanyeol looked at his boss with the most bored look.

"What?"

"You are telling me we don't even know their real names? Like we have their pictures and shit but not the fucking name?"

"Chanyeol-si, it was a big trouble for us to even find this much information. You will see why," he paused, "Now go ahead and read."

"He looks hot."

"Boyfriend." Junmyeon mumbled. 

"Oh please, you know I would never do that Baekhyunie," Chanyeol smiled so wide that Junmyeon thought his face might break.

"Yeah, yeah, just be careful doing this mission. His boyfriend is the leader," He looked at Chanyeol.

"Aw, young love," He sighed.

"You are literally just 24, shut up."

"Who's next?"

"Suga."

"Hey, look, a cat."

Junmyeon face palmed.

"Kitty is an assassin, got it," Chanyeol whispered, almost to himself.

"Are you even taking this seriously? Like I mean it. I really want you to do the mission without flopping it. Would you actually be able to do or should I find someone else?" Junmyeon's gaze pierced through Chanyeol who seemed the least cared about it.

"I don't like taking things too seriously, boss. You know it. But you should also know that I make sure to finish all my missions and make sure I am serious while doing so. I will be gone for the mission soon. And no one promises future. So let me have my piece of fun before I go for this deathly mission," Chanyeol looked up while saying so and watched as his boss' features softened. He was everyone's favourite for a reason.

"Alright, alright, let's move on to the one," Junmyeon shook his head with a smile.

"J Hope, a dealer, more like-"

"Don't. I won't hesitate," Junmyeon's words seemed like a threat so Chanyeol kept it to himself.

_\- J-Dope._

__

"Of course he is friendly. He is a kidnapper!"

Junmyeon rolled his eyes. 

"He doesn't have much experience in the field but don't let that faze you. He can still very well commit a murder. He isn't as clean at his job as Suga who seems to leave almost no clue, but he has his ways to get things done."

Chanyeol nodded, "He has so much knowledge about drugs, huh."

"A drug dealer he is. Started that as a profession when he was just 15." Junmyeon said, somewhat sympathetically.

"You feel bad for him?" Chanyeol asked surprised.

"Just a kid I used to know. Who knew I'd be chasing his ass now?" 

"Such a small world," Chanyeol cooed.

"Go ahead to the next one."

"Vanity?"

"or... V."

"You are telling me this cutie is a criminal?" Chanyeol questioned.

"He may may seem like the son of Aphrodite but that's his charm. Don't fall."

"He is still cute," He shrugged.

"Mind you, his boyfriend is always there to strangle anyone who tries to touch his boy."

"Jeez, Joker and Harley Quinn much?"

"Actually, that's the best way to put these two."

"Who is his boyfriend?"

"JK."

"Another assassin, I see."

"Is it just me or his face isn't that visible?" Chanyeol squinted his eyes to stare at the picture.

"Nope. It was a literal gift to find one photo of him. He always flees away from the crime scene and is actually the fastest among the guys. He can fight anyone without weapons too."

"He doesn't look that old," He commented.

"Yeah, no kidding. He was literally 13 when he first picked up a fight... Underground." The boss chuckled.

"13, huh. He wasn't caught I assume."

"Yup."

"But boss, don't you think these information are too less?" Chanyeol questioned.

"I told you if you keep reading you will know why it was a struggle for us to collect this much information in the first place. We are lucky we got this much out," Junmyeon said and flipped the next profile to Chanyeol.

"... Mochi?"

"The smartest hacker to exist in today's world."

"A rice cake, huh?" Chanyeol mused before reading.

"He just joined recently," Junmyeon said.

"Recently? You mean he is the youngest among them all?"

"He is literally 18. It has been two years since he went missing. Here he is."

"He is the reason we can't find more information, ain't it." Chanyeol asked, more like a statement though.

"Hell yeah. One of the best hackers. He even hacked into ours once. We know its him but there is no literal proof. Wipes off any trace of evidence. Much like his boyfriend. The assassin."

"He looks innocent. But who knew a kid would be a problem." Chanyeol noted.

"Either way. Those are the men you will be dealing with but don't forget. They aren't the only ones. Prepare for worse. And always be ready. The only way you can complete this mission." Junmyeon said.

"I know, boss. I won't disappoint. Now if you will let me. I have a mission to attend and a team to meet."

"Team?" Junmyeon questioned.

"If you planned on sending me alone because I am a pain in your ass, too bad. I am taking a team." Chanyeol said making his boss chuckle.

"Who will be in your team?"

"Only the best to annihilate the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~
> 
> So, the prologue is done and hopefully this story will go well. :)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where the story begins. And i know that Govt. Docs do not look like that (in the prologue) BUT it was for the readers to have a clearer image about the boys.

_"Happiness was never mine to hold." ~ Happiness by The Fray._

 

**~ 2 Years Back ~**

**Jimin's POV:**

It was night. Stars filled the sky illuminating the void. I was sitting on a slide. Yes, a slide. I was sitting in a Children's Park. I looked around. The place was empty. 

_Not everyone is a maniac like you to be awake at night and come to a stupid park, Jimin._

Of course. My inner voice always there for me in times of need.

I sighed as I looked down at my watch. 2 AM. I looked up at the sky again. These stars seemed to be the only light in my life. Is what I am living right now even called a life? Am I even living? 

I shook my head. It's too early for these thoughts to appear. Way too early. I got up from the place and walked towards the wall. I used my hands to hang on to the wall before I swung my legs upwards and sat on top of the wall. I jumped off and landed on the ground. I got up and dusted off my hands and jeans before walking towards my personal hell. Life sure is good when you don't have to die to be welcomed to hell. The Devil will be waiting for me. I wonder what he has planned this time around. 

I was walking away from the park when I heard a squeaky noise. More like a noise that forms while two metals rub against each other. To be specific, a... Seesaw. I frowned. I didn't see even a single person there... Let alone two. Who could be playing then? 

I wanted to go and check. I wanted to see who this lonely soul was. Or... souls if there were in fact two people. But judging from the sounds... It didn't seem like two people were there. I couldn't even hear once the landing of the seesaw. I wanted to play with them. I wanted to talk. I wanted to live. But reality is never like that. Reality doesn't play. Life doesn't play. I kept walking without glancing back... Ignoring the sounds that called for me. I kept walking as if everything would somehow fall into place. 

I walked towards hell. My house. You can't really call that a home... Now, can we?

**~~~**

I kicked my shoes outside and ran around the house to the backside to check whether the window I left open was closed or opened. Of course, for my very unfortunate life that doesn't seem to surprise me anymore, it wasn't. It was closed, which also meant the devil was sitting in the living room waiting for me. I sighed and walked back to the front porch. 

Death is inevitable but does it have to be so soon?

I opened the door with a click. I was welcomed with the smell of... Alcohol. I forgot how this house used to smell. I tip-toed towards the stairs, hoping for once luck would be mine. But no. Hell no. Luck will never be with me. I should be used to it. Won't disappoint me at the least. 

"Jimin," I heard, I froze and turned towards the owner of the voice. I sighed for what felt like the millionth time in the past hour before I greeted him. 

"Dad," I said, monotonously. I saw him hiding something behind his back.

He looked at me and asked, "Where have you been?" It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he was holding a belt. 

"The park," I said. It really doesn't faze me at this point. Life is meaningless anyway. All I got to do is give up now. 

"Park Jimin went to a park~," He started singing. Honestly, he didn't seem drunk. He seemed psychotic. But the bad kind. The kind you don't feel attracted to. 

"So what?" I snapped and it was too late to realize that I snapped. This wasn't the first time I snapped. Heck, I have snapped a million times before. But all those came with the same consequence. Double the pain he wanted to  cause initially. 

"You think you can get away with it?" He swayed a bit while walking towards me. 

I stayed silent. I knew what he was going to do but who am I to complain. He is just making my wish come true. To die. I do mind dying in a house filled in the toxicity of alcohol but I shouldn't be complaining. I waited for the impact and there it was.

**_Whip._ **

I stood still even when my hips felt like they were going to rip off from the hit. I felt the need to scream. Some sort of escape from the pain I was feeling. But there is no escape. The four walls were closed in and waiting for me to take my last breath. 

"You should learn some manners, Jimin. I have been letting you live under this roof for the past years. You should be grateful." I heard him say before whipping the belt again. 

Grateful for what? Not murdering me? Not feeding me? Abusing me? What should I even consider the word grateful for? 

 _You_ _have to be content with life._

There it is, again. The voice. Always there. 

I felt as if my skin was about to rip off and all my organs were going to fall out. Honestly, who'd even treat their own son like this. And what does it mean to be content? Content with this hell of a life? For fucks sake, who'd be content with this?

I felt my blood seeping through the clothes I was wearing. More bruises to cover, huh...

Nothing surprised me anymore. Nothing. Everything felt like the end and the feeling that I have to feel that way would never leave me.

I bit my lip and struggled to hold the tears as his whips became clearly slow. And suddenly he stopped. He was tired.

"Go to your room, you also have school tomorrow," I heard him whisper before he walked towards the couch and fell asleep.

Honestly, I don't know if I should be grateful he was tired or angry. Grateful because, yeah, he stopped. No more pain. But it also means he will not stop the pain. That made me angry. IF I was dead I wouldn't have to go through this again. IF I was dead I wouldn't feel anything. Only if...

I sighed again. It is just 2AM, a fresh day yet here I am on the verge of death. I walked, more like limped, towards my room. I wanted to cry out loud. Fall down and make a ruckus. All I wanted was to feel something along happiness. ANYTHING. But all I felt was pain. Only pain. And that hurt.

I went to my bathroom to clean up the wounds. I removed my shirt to see all the blood. It wasn't enough to take me to darkness but it was enough to cause the pain. Oh, how lucky they are, who gets to die real fast.

I cleaned up my wounds, I have become quite the professional on it over the years. If only he was here, he wouldn't have let it happen. But of course, life takes away all the happiness. It sucks away the happiness and replaces pain within me.

I stepped out of the bathroom and went towards my closet. I took a black T-shirt and some black pants. I pulled them on me and laid on my bed. I let out a breath of relief. Maybe... Just maybe... Happiness is not meant for me. And maybe I will find my escape soon.

But I do wonder... What is that lonely soul doing playing alone on a seesaw? Isn't it weird to play on a seesaw when you're alone?

Maybe that person was also searching for happiness, who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first chapter. ANd i shall update very very late. Lol.


	4. Torn

__

_"I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel. I am cold and I am shamed." ~ Torn by Natalie Imbruglia._

**Jimin's POV:**

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. School was a literal pain in the ass. I sighed as I got up with a groan. My body hurt like hell. I closed my eyes and sat at the end of the bed. I slowly made my way to the bathroom, wincing at each step I took. I went inside and stared at my reflection. There in front stood a boy who seemed to be in pain and looked as if he gave up on life. He looked so tiny though his height wasn't that low. It seemed like he felt so small and so vulnerable. He looked like he was gonna cry.

I wiped my tears and took out the first aid kit. I had to clean up my wounds. I looked at the reflection once more before closing my eyes and dabbing the cotton balls that were soaked in alcohol on my skin. I hissed. Should have got used to it but it still hurts.

_Guess some things cannot be healed through time._

~~~

Numb. That is how I felt. To wake up everyday and participate in life. It felt numb. It felt like the world could crash anytime and I could care only less about it. It felt as if the world carried on as I cried and cried. Mental stability was long gone. Anyone who spoke to me or even looked at me for more than a minute, always suggested I go to a doctor. I would just laugh it off.

_How can anyone cure something that could be lied about?_

As much as I hated that I lie a lot. I could only care less. In a world where no one cares... why should I? The feeling of numbness is overwhelming. How can something so empty and filled with void feel so heavy?

Just how?

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder, what would have happened if people knew what I was going through. Could they have helped me? Could they have accepted me? And the worst haunting question,  _Could they have loved me?_

I can't help but question. Why do I have to live? Why can't I just die? Isn't it easier that way? What is this so called 'purpose' everyone tells I am here for? Why is it more important than myself?

Just... Why?

I could lie to others. They don't know me. Their opinions don't matter. But what about me? Am I lying to myself? Who am I? Who should I be? Who should I not be? Who to let in?

Just. . . Who?

Thoughts are a scary thing.

Thinking is such a terrifying thing.

Carl Jung once said, 'Thinking is hard and that's why most choose judging.'

I envy the ones who can judge.

They don't go through this exhausting, heavy process where your mind just doesn't shut up and fills your head with thoughts unnecessary for the survival.

They don't go through the 'oh, hey, that person might seems bad but what if they are nicer and just hurt' process.

They don't go through the process of justification of ones mistake and hurtful words or actions towards us.

They, as heck, don't go through the whole process of thinking.

Thinking. The enemy of everything. Thoughts can build a weapon while judgements can build a person.

Thoughts hurt us while judgements hurt others.

Thoughts consume our time and us wholly while judgements fail to make an impact on us.

It is natural for me to envy those to judge... they don't have to think.

They have to do nothing.

They just sit around and do what they like. Even if it included hurting others.

At least, they are happier than, us, who think.

We are who we think we are, alas.

_And the numbness somehow increases that process._

~~~

School had always been and will be a pain. There is nothing I would miss about this hellhole. Why would I? No one cared. No one spoke. No friends meant no worries.

_But having no friends meant more burden to carry alone and having no one to console you._

Ah, the irony couldn't have been more funnier.

School had always been a burden and makes me wonder why we have school. And why can't some? Why does the standard have to be different just because classes are? What kind of equality do we talk about if we can't even pronounce it to our children?

Money. Another hatred.

_Wow, I hate a lot of things, don't I?_

But the most hated would be life. Who would want to live a life of abuse and torture? If freedom is what everyone wants... the life I am currently living should be loathed.

Satisfaction and content do not exist here. The world is a place where we are born and die. No one cares in the end about you. Now, with that information you can either do whatever you want to or just sulk about the thought that no one would care enough to even ask about you.

Well, there is also another option. Ignore.

And that is exactly what I chose. Ignore.

Ignore the world and whatever it made itself to seem like.

~~~

School with no friends is equivalent to hell. What am I still doing here? I could have dropped out. Saved the money. And gone somewhere else. Yet, I chose this. Has there been even a single decision I've taken that was right to this day? I don't think so.

I sigh for what feels like the hundredth time today. Tired. Numb. Almost dead and soulless. That's how I feel.

Somehow school seems to be getting longer and longer. It doesn't help much with what I'm already feeling.

"Park Jimin, I suppose you know the answer."

I heard a voice. I looked up to see the whole class staring back at me. What did I do now?

I tilted my head as a way of questioning. I rarely spoke.

"You seemed to be not paying attention so you must probably know the answer for the question right?" The teacher asked. I heard snickering all over the class.

What the fuck? Isn't that supposed to be the opposite? I don't know the answer if I'm not paying attention. To call me out in front of everyone is humiliating too. Where are people's manners nowadays?

"Do you know or not know, Mr. Park?"

"Three."

"Huh?"

"The answer is three." I said with a blank stare. How else am I supposed to react?

He stared at me before going back to his problems on board. Everyone turned their back again as I was left in my own world once more. The world were no one can find me. The world were no one can enter.

_The world were I lived and not just existed as a mere human._


	5. Little House

__

_"No one expects you to get up, all on your own with no one around." ~ Little House by The Fray._

**Jimin's** **POV:**

It was a painful task. To walk all the way to house from school. If school was a nightmare, house was a literal hell. I walked on the footpath as I stared at the trees. They look beautiful. I wish to be like the trees one day. Strong and bold and filled with leaves of thought. I smiled at the thought. Trees must feel a bit happy right?

My smile fell when I realised about deforestation.

_Ah, nevermind._

It's quite funny how I can't smile without having another thought to bring myself down. It's almost like I'm my own enemy. But we all are. We are our own enemies. But enemies who we can't defeat easily and worse can't kill because then you'll be dead too. What an amazing thing about humans, having enemies within themselves.

I walked past the playground I went to yesterday. I looked at the slide. Will it be too childish of me to want to go there? I wonder. I looked at the seesaw then. I saw a person sitting all alone.

_No one should play on the seesaw alone._

I skipped and made my way towards that person. The closer I got I realised it was a guy who looked my age sitting there. I stood next to him until he noticed me... Which didn't happen until I coughed... Which also gave him quite the fright considering his screech and hand upon his chest as if to calm his beating.

"What the fuck, kiddo? You gave me one of the worst frights ever. God, my soul almost left me," he uttered to me. The curse made me flinch. That's how dad always talks. I sighed and asked, "Seesaw?"

He looked at me for a few seconds and narrowed his eyes, "do you even know me?"

I shook my head and asked again, "seesaw?"

He rose his eyebrows and asked, "well didn't your parents teach you not to talk to strangers? Like stranger danger? Is that the phrase?" He muttered the last line most to himself.

I shrugged and asked for the third time, "seesaw?"

He looked me dead-panned and said, "you don't seem to talk other words than 'seesaw'... Are you okay?"

I shrugged and put my bag down as I got on the other side of the seesaw. He rolled his eyes at me and said, "For all you know I could kill you."

As soon as he said that I pushed the seesaw so I could go up which startled him as he let out another screech. I put my hand over my mouth as I controlled my laughter. He seemed to be my age but his physical body made him seem like some really old guy. Though I could reckon he isn't much taller than me.

He looked up at me with an evil shining in his eyes. He dusted the sand from his hands as he said, "okay, kiddo, you asked. Let's play. Don't end up crying though."

I let out a sequel as he threw himself up and I went down. He laughed. I smiled. I felt I made a new friend. He looked at me with his shining eyes and little rectangle smile.   
"Game on, kiddo."

_Scratch that, he's definitely taller than me._

~~~

We played for an hour on the seesaw. The most I've laughed my whole life. The most I've spent with someone other than my stuffed animals and bedroom walls. The most I've been out and playing like an actual 15 year old. I smiled widely and kept squealing.

Today, I understood the concept of time. It plays unfairly. If you're sad; time keeps going on and on. If you're happy; time finishes in a snap. Truly unfair. But weirdly fair too. Without the existence of time we wouldn't know what we are doing and end up being most unproductive species. Not like we aren't already.

"Hey, kiddo, what's your name?!" I heard the guy scream as I was going to walk out.

"Jimin! And I'm 15!" I said and then I heard a bell. The church bell. Shit. I had to return fast. Dad will end me or else.

"Well, my name is-" he stopped and stared at me before saying,  "you must hurry, I guess."

I frowned at him but the next church bell brought me back to reality and I nodded before running off. I had to be back by 5 but it's already late. Shit I'm really gonna end today.

I ran towards the house. Ran is an understatement I sprinted. I sprinted straight to the front door and through it. I opened it with such force it almost seemed I ran through it. I took a deep breath and listened for footsteps.

I sighed in relief as I heard none.

_He's not back yet._

With that thought filling up I ran to my room and placed my bag before running downstairs again to clean the whole house spotless. I lost track of time in the park playing with that... Unknown guy.

He had a pretty smile. And a pretty laugh. He called me a kiddo, though. Maybe he's older than me? His face didn't seem like that but maybe he is based on his height and body. I want to have that kind of body.

I pouted as I washed my dishes. I stopped washing for a second to see if I can flex my biceps. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm literally so skinny. I wish I had muscles and was ripped enough to even smash kill people.

I imagined how cool it would be if I could be like that. I wouldn't have to fear anyone hurting me. I could use brawn over brain anytime. I could choose. I turned towards my right to take another plate but I found a packet near it.

I read the word on top.

_Cocaine._

Dad. He's a drug dealer after all. It's expected from him. I just wish he'd care enough to keep it away from his son's reach but then again, when has he ever cared.

I took the packet and kept it somewhere safe and proceeded to clean the house once again. I have to make sure it's clean clean.

~~~

I can hear him. His voice is booming. And tonight is one of those days he brings his friends over. The ones I hate the most. I hate them a lot too. I don't think anyone likes their butt being touched by the likes of some perverts who are supposedly my dad's friends. Dad? Really? Is he even that?

I locked my room door and walked towards my balcony. Oh the sight of the night sky. Always calming us down.

Maybe that's why we have the night sky too. We can calm our soul in this never-ending abyss of darkness. A darkness that could never be more beautiful than this. I stared at the stars. I felt them blink at me. As if reassuring the whole world will be back to normal. But neither do we know what is normal nor what the world is capable of. Maybe that's why it's dark. We don't know. We'll never know. It's upon entering the darkness we'll see what we need. With eery eyes following our steps as we brace ourselves. We become the knights of the night. We save ourselves. Maybe that's why it's dark. Most of our furious battle takes place at night... Within ourselves. Maybe I'll fight mine one day. And find my own home. Until then, I'll enjoy the view of the stars from this little house.


	6. Faded

__

_"These shallow waters, never met what I needed. I'm letting go." ~ Faded by Alan Walker._

**Jimin's POV:**

Birthday. A day we all hope to celebrate with the most loved ones of our lives. Mine is four days away. Funny how I still remember the birthday of someone who doesn't matter. 

I will never matter. 

Loved ones? I have none. I don't know why I even remember it. I remember the time I used to be five. Everything was good. Mom was there. Dad was himself. And, most importantly,  _he_  was there.  _He_  who had all of me.  _He_ who left me when I needed him the most. The same  _he_  who let me go.

It made me realise how worthless I really was. We all talk about purpose of our lives. But what is a purpose? And why does it keep hiding from me? I could just finish it and die. But no. It is all a stupid game. 

I turn sixteen in four days. Am I really growing up? 

I sighed and looked out. The night seemed really calm. The wind caressed the wild canopy of leaves. The slight breeze moved the sand and put them in their perfect places. The moon shone through the clouds lighting up the whole place. The stars shone like the piano tiles producing a beautiful rhythm that only the dark abyss could hear. 

How selfish of the darkness to swallow everything, even the music of beautiful stars. 

I turned the other side of my bed and breathed out. 

I played the events of the day in my head. 

School happened again. Nothing different from other days. Same old, tired, lonely hours of the day. Well, except for the news of a kid being kidnapped yesterday in the park or something. I heard it was in the same park I played with the stranger too. But it didn't matter to me. It was almost like good riddance for the way that kid used to treat me. I do feel bad. But not too much. Never too much.

You can't just erase whatever happened with your bully in your life and feel sudden sympathy towards their missing. 

At least, I can't. 

Came back to house to see dad drunk out of his mind and not even conscience enough to process the fact that his son wasn't the girl he was supposed to fuck. Of all things I went through... That was the worst. 

I shuddered at the thought of him touching me until I screamed and pushed him away before running away and locking myself up. I didn't even eat food. Enter; my stomach grumbling as if I just reminded it. 

I got up from the bed for the first time this night and waddled my way towards the kitchen. I made sure to look if he was up. Thank goodness, he wasn't. I grabbed a small packet of granola bar that was inside the fridge before sneaking my way upstairs again. 

Well, I guess I will just eat and go back to sleep. I have got a long day tomorrow. 

I looked at the clock.

**2:31 AM.**

I really need to start sleeping early. 

~~~

Noise. So much noise. Is this a school or factory? At least, people do their jobs in factory. I pulled out my books from the locker. I turned towards my left to see some guys walk towards me.

 _Why me?_  

That was the last thing I thought before my back was slammed on my locker. 

_Ouch._

"Okay, midget, better give me your chemistry homework before I break your teeth."

Oh well. So much to ask for a peaceful morning. I handed him my homework. 

"You just gave it?"

Even if he would have asked nicely I would have. I don't understand why you seem to need to be violent with me. I take two copies of my homework everywhere. In case, I spill something and ruin it. 

"Are you sure it is the right one? What if he gave the wrong one? We can't trust him." One of his friends said.

First of all, I don't even know their names. 

Second of all, if you don't trust me then why the fuck do you ask.

Last of all, can they let me go? It's kind of getting suffocating. 

_All remained my thoughts._

"Well, if it is wrong he will die."

Oh wow. Very impressed. What a beautiful threat. I am amazed. 

They started walking away as I sighed. 

_I just wish to be invisible..._

~~~

I walked down the street by the end of school. I walked past the playground and once more searched for the stranger. He wasn't there yesterday. Maybe he was today?

I looked around. I craned my head in the most possible way and looked. He seemed to be nowhere. 

_Maybe he has better things to do than befriend a small fifteen year old kid._

"Hey, it's you!" I heard a voice. 

I turned around to see the stranger. There was something about him. I just smiled at the mere sight of him.

I ran towards him and waved. He bent down a little and said, "I am bored. Can we play seesaw again?"

I nodded excitedly and ran towards the seesaw. He laughed at me and ran behind me. He seemed to remind me of a five year old. He found joy in such a small thing like seesaw. 

I felt as if finally, I had something to look forward to. I smiled at the thought.

_Finally, a memory that won't fade away._

~~~

Coming back to house late became a routine when I was with the said stranger whose name I still haven't asked. But it was worth everything. A final happy memory. 

I walked towards the door of my house. Today, was the fourth time I have played with that stranger and I have never been this happy. And somehow I can tell the same goes for him too. A smile creeped up at the thought of him.

_Maybe this is the point in life I feel happiness._

"PARK FUCKING JIMIN."

_. . . Scratch that, I guess._

~~~


	7. For The Love

_"You have a hollowed out heart but its heavy in your chest. I try so hard to fight it but its hopeless." - For the Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato._

**Jimin's POV:**

"PARK FUCKING JIMIN."

My blood ran stale. Suddenly I felt a rush of coldness. Hopelessness crashing harder than ever. I knew this scream. It was when he was pissed. Not mad. Not angry. But pissed. It has been ages since I last heard him scream like this. 

It had been almost seven years since I have heard him this angry. 

 _It was when_ he  _left._

I took a shaky breathe and looked around to spot him. Scared is an understatement. I wasn't scared. I was terrified. I was petrified. I was frightened almost to the point I couldn't move a single muscle. Every step from here was a step towards the hell that just got created. 

I heard the clattering of dishes. 

_Kitchen._

He was in the kitchen. I slowly backed out. Ready to make a sprint to my room and lock it up and pile up bunch of furnitures so he can't open. 

The bruises that were formed almost a week back were still healing. I was still in pain. There is no way I can take him all in when he is pissed. Each blow will send me to death and back.

I was gonna run up the stairs when i felt a hand on mine. I stilled. I swallowed hard and looked back to find him holding my shirt. I could literally see steam fuming through his ears. I was dead for sure.

"Well, Park Jimin, are you trying to run away from your responsibility?" 

**(Warning: Abuse)**

"C-Calm down, plea-please," I tried. But I should have known it was useless especially when I clearly know about his temper. 

"Oh," he said, "you think you can tell me what to do now?"

_Embracing for the impact was the only thing I could do._

He took his belt out and said, "you know, you've been a pain in my ass since you were born. I wish you could've died but no. Oh no. You HAD to come alive. And your fucking mother just left me with you. YOU. Can you believe this? And what are you? A fucking gay piece of shit that can't get shit done. Why did I even bother to give you a roof to live under?"

His words hurt more than any physical wound could have.

_Am I really his child?_

**_Whip._ **

Should have been used to it. Should have. But I am not. I am not used to anything. And I don't know if that's something I have to thank for or cry about. Why can't I just be-

_**Whip.** _

I hissed. It hurts so much. I wish I could just end it all. But that small will in my heart doesn't let me. A feeling that there is more than meets the eye. That there is more to live for. I don't want that feeling. I want to die peacefully. But I can't seem to. I just can't.

_**Whip.** _

I looked at his face for a second. He wasn't my dad. He wasn't the same man who held me when I was born. Not the same man who hugged me when I won my first dance competition. Not the same man who loved me unconditionally. Not the same man who always praised me. Not the same man who knew what to say when I was hurt. Not the same man who told me, 'I'll love you no matter what, Jiminie'. And he definitely wasn't the same man whose smile could brighten up anyone's day.

His eyes would turn into crescents at the sight of me. His lips would bear a smile.

_**Whip.** _

His ears would listen to my complaints of the preschool. His voice would sing lullabies. His hands would hug me till I can't breathe. His legs were my seesaw growing up. His back used to be where I used to climb up to go on elephant rides.

And most of all his eyes. His eyes would carry so much love and affection that it felt impossible to not smile. You must be really stoic to not smile at him.

_**Whip.** _

Yet. The same man stands in front of me. His eyes never turned to crescent these days. His lips wore a frown 24/7. His ears have shut off to even listen. His voice screams how much he hates me. His hands hit me till I can't breathe. His legs kick me. His back? He turned it on me ages ago.

And his eyes? Oh his eyes that I grew to love... Now all gone. These eyes don't carry love and affection. They carry blazing anger and molded hatred. They scare you. They make you feel fear.

_**Whip.** _

Those were the eyes of someone who lost a lot. And everything they've lost... They could never get back. I understood. But at what cost?

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

I flinched at his words.

_Why can't I?_

"Nothing."

I looked up at him. My eyes were glossy from the tears that were gathering. But they held the words I wanted to say. Pity. Dissapointment. Fear. Anger. Sadness. I felt them all. I wanted to say it but I couldn't. They were lost in my thoughts just like myself. But my eyes conveyed them to him.

He noticed. Of course he did. Years of living together... Let's you know the person better. And that's how I knew that my feelings made him more furious than he already was.

_Sometimes, I wish to not feel a thing. So that I can lock myself up and keep myself safe._

~~~

I woke up in the middle of the living room. I wondered what had happened. And then I remembered.

_Dad._

One word to cause the ultimate fear of death. But I'm still alive.

_Why. Why. Why._

Why can't I just DIE? It is frustrating. Wanting to die and needing to live. It's frustrating. I wanted to scream. The pain I felt made me want to scream till I lose my voice. It was too much. It was all too much. It was something that scared me to the point I wanted to runaway.

Maybe I should. Maybe then I could live instead of existing. Maybe I should run for the hills. Maybe towards the forest. Maybe towards the ocean. Maybe towards the city. Or maybe I should just run blindly till I die.

I tried to stand up. Loss of blood and the pain wasn't much of help. It felt like everything was slowly killing me. But not strong enough to really kill me. Frustrating.

I tried to go towards the stairs.

_I have to climb that with this pain. Life can't get any better, can it?_

I slowly made my way up. With only one thought in my mind. If I can't live here. I'll live somewhere else. Somewhere. Anywhere. But not here. I am going to live. I need to. If I'm alive I have a purpose, right? I need to find it. And maybe then I'll die peacefully. And for that I have to do one thing and one thing alone.

_Run._

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is... um... reading this... PLEASE DO COMMENT BECUASE WELL YEAH! I LOVE COMMENTS! And it kinda feels like i am the only one here so pls do comment unless you don't like commenting issa fine! :)


	8. Young Forever

__

_"Even when I fall and hurt myself, I endlessly run towards my dreams." ~ Young Forever by BTS_

**Jimin's POV:**

I limped towards my room upstairs. The pain was unbearable but I knew it was time to leave.

_You're just fifteen, Jimin. Where can you go?_

I paused for a moment. Where can I go? It was right. I had no place to go to. I was alone. I knew no one. No one knew me. Yet the idea of staying didn't settle right. I had to take the chances. The odds. Maybe I will survive or maybe I will die trying. 

_Words aren't going to back you up, Park Jimin._

Sometimes, I wish the voices in my head just shut up. For a whole day.

I sighed before picking out my clothes and folding them. I don't want to leave anything he can trace me with. For all I know he might buy a dog just so it can sniff my clothes and find my whereabouts. 

I folded them in such a way they didn't take up a lot of space. I didn't have many clothes to start with so it wasn't a big trouble to fit them all in my school bag. I threw all my notebooks and textbooks outside. Who the fuck needs books that teach how to be and how not to be? I am gonna be myself even if it falls under the 'how not to be' category. 

I took the bag after cleaning out the whole cupboard and ran downstairs to the kitchen. Food. The second necessity after warmth. I took out a bunch of chips and some cereal that was left. Anything that can feed me. I took a water bottle. I need stuff to survive at least for a day. 

I was going to run outside the house when I remembered the one thing that was needed. Money. How could I forget the fucking money? I'd be lost and dead without it in this economy. Would not survive a day. Oh, how I loathe capitalism. 

I settled my bag down and made my way to his room. He was drunk so he sure can't be awake now, can he. Even then, I tip-toed towards his room. I opened the door ever so slowly. I remember when I used to be ten. I used to be so scared of his room because he often hit me there. He used to drag me and beat me up. I remember the time they told me to draw my family when I was seven. And I just drew me... with a boogeyman next to me. The whole class laughed and teacher said what a disappointment I was. 

 _No one bothered to ask who the boogeyman was._  

I walked towards his bed slowly and looked around to search for his wallet. It wasn't anywhere near his bed. I looked around the room. 

He groaned a bit which scared the living daylights out of me. I stood still. Hearing any kind of sign which meant he was awake. But then I heard his snoring continue. I let out a breath of relief and focused on my quest to find his wallet. I looked at the pants that were hanging behind the door. I checked their pockets but to no avail. There was nothing. I was about to throw the things at ground when I saw his shirt pockets. 

_He doesn't even use them these days..._

I walked towards them and let my hand roam and... BINGO! Wallet. A grin made its way to my face as I pulled my hand out and looked inside. I took all the money there was along with the credit card. I can use the credit card for at least two days before he figures out he can track me. I will throw it out then. 

I walked back out of the room as his snores filled it. I ran downstairs and took my backpack and put on my shoes before running as if my life depended on it. 

The feeling of wind rushing through my hair. It felt as if no one can stop me. No one can hold me back. For the first time in a while I genuinely smiled. There was one thing running in my head...

_...Freedom._

~~~

Life sucks. 

_You were the one to run._

Yeah, yeah, shut up. 

I sighed and ran my hand through the hair. What did I expect? Life with open arms welcoming me to the heaven? 

I looked up from where I sat at the time. 12:19 AM. 

No bus in sight. Why am I sitting in this station? I looked around. Not a single soul in sight. 

_Well, not everyone runs away from homes, do they?_

I rolled my eyes at that thought. 

I sat there for another few minutes before a bus appeared. It did almost look like it appeared out of thin air. I stood up and went near as they pulled it to a stop. I walked in. It would be empty if it wasn't for the driver and two passengers. I gave the ticket before passing by. 

I sat down and realisation hit me like bricks. I am sixteen.

I am officially sixteen.

I almost cried in the bus as I realised. 

People never got why I get emotional on birthdays or hyped. It's very simple. I made it another year. I survived. Even when I could have given up and let go. I didn't. I made it to another year. It makes me feel strong and worth it. It gives me a reason to go on. Milestone of life. I have made it. I wiped my tears with my hoodie sleeves. 

I tried to lay down in the seat. But I couldn't fall asleep. My brain kept uttering nonsense about how people might end up robbing me. 

Oh well, at least, I can now go be alive. 

~~~ 

Maybe... It was a bad idea after all, to run away. Especially at night.

I looked at the deserted city in front of me. It doesn't look like anything I thought. Bustling people. Honking cars. Lit up shops. But no. It was as silent as a graveyard. And quite dark if it wasn't for the city lights. The view screamed danger. You just didn't know what was lurking behind every dark corner. 

I took a deep breathe before walking towards a shop. 

Well, considering everything is closed I had to find a place to stay. Either that I should roam around. 

_. . . Roam around it is._

~~~

 


	9. Be Still

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FREAKING WRITER'S BLOCK KEPT ME DEAD FOR A WHOLE ASS MONTH

_"When darkness comes upon you, and colours you with shame. Be still and know that I am with you." - Be Still by The Fray._

**Jimin's POV:**

Walking around, many people may find it tiresome, is so fresh. Especially if you are in a new place. You tend to get curious sometimes. How does this place look? How does it smell? How many people walked by it? How many people found themselves in this path? How long has it stayed here? 

Questions swim across my head as I kept walking. Trees surrounding me as the stars swam through the sky. Clouds floating around looking like cotton candies. The moon was full and bright. I didn't need city lights to light my path. The moon lit it up as if guiding me. 

The moon's reflection on the river I was walking beside looked heavenly. 

"See the light as it shines on the sea... it's blinding... but no one knows... how deep it goes..." I sung quietly to myself, not like there was an audience in the first place. 

I enjoyed the silence while it lasted. Everything felt in peace for that one moment. Everything felt normal for that one moment. The concept of time didn't exist for that one moment. All life stilled and it felt like the whole universe focused on me. Just me. And the scenery before me. Isn't this the moment we all hope for? That one moment where there is no doubt. There is no hate. Where you truly love yourself for who you are and everything for what it is. Even if it is just for a second... Everything seems perfect.

But all that's perfect... always comes to an end.

I heard a rustle behind me. 

I packed everything necessary for survival except a knife to protect myself. I was tempted to slam my head on the nearby lamp post. 

"Well, well, if it isn't a little boy lost his way," I heard a voice and another one chuckling.

_Great. Two people Vs me. I'm dying today. Oh well._

I took a deep breath and slowly turned towards them. I help onto my backpack. Ready to swing it towards them. Though, I must say, I need the backpack. There's food and everything. I can't just leave it.

"Do you need any help, baby?" Said the one in right as I turned to see two men towering me. They weren't even that close and yet I can sense how bad of a choice it was to walk alone in a city.

And did he just call me a  _baby_?

I moved a little to my left as I shuffled. I can't outrun them. Bastards have long ass legs. And they must be stronger than me considering their height. They don't seem lanky either. There's literally no way out. I can't talk myself out of this. I'm freaking 16. The fuck can I do.

"You do know we can help you, right?" One of them said. I was confused.

_Help me? How?_

"All you have to do is follow us. We'll take you to the police station and well, they'll take you back home."

_And what exactly is my so called "home"?_

I gave them a blank stare and just as they were about to step closer. I heard another voice behind me. It was deeper than these two. It startled the shit out of me.

"I thought we made it clear that you guys weren't supposed to step foot inside this area."

The one in the right stood there blankly and slightly shaking. Almost as if he was trying to hold back from showing off the fact he was in fear. While the other one didn't even bother hiding as you can literally see him shaking and whispering ' _I told you it was a bad idea. No one ever listens to me. Dammit we're gonna die today.'_

Why were they both so scared?

Who was the guy behind me who spoke?

And what kind of power did he hold that it scared the living shit of the two guys in front of me?

I was going to turn around but I feared the two in front might attack me. Yeah, they are shaking in fear but you never know.

"We had a job to complete." The one in right said.

 _"Oh, now we gonna lie? Dude we are so dead from not one but two bosses. I can't believe I'm gonna die twice in the same night. Fuck you for this idea."_ Welp, the only sane person it seems.

"You don't have to lie. I will let you go today. That is if you can run within the count of three."

The moment he said that the two figures ran for life. Which occurs, I could have totally ran away from them. Or maybe they were so scared they couldn't run? Oh well.

"What's a small school boy like you doing here?" I heard him. He was probably addressing me. After all, I am the only one left.

I turned around slowly and stared up at him. He was tall.

_I feel like an_ _oompa_ _loompa_ _now. Great._

"I asked you a question, kid." He seemed to stare into my soul. It was scary.  _He_  was scary. He was intimidating to another extent. But he still held what seemed to be a sweet stance. He reminded me that there could be no one more intimidating than that one person.

"Okay. If you don't answer. I'm gonna blow your brains out."

Blow... My... Brains? I scrunched my nose and thought. How the fuck does one do that? Is he gonna use a gun? Or is he gonna plasma blast my brain? What the fuck does he even mean?

I looked up at him with a confused look and asked, "how the fuck do you blast a brain?"

He stood there with a deadpanned expression before continuing, "so you can talk. And well to answer you, a gun."

Gun? But how can you be sure a gun can kill a person if you are going to blast their brains? The bullet is too small. It might affect a region of the brain most of the time.

"How? Bullets are small." I questioned.

He looked at me with a weird look before saying, "Look, kid, I don't know what you are thinking. All I know is you hold a gun, pull trigger, hit the target and POOF they are dead. And bullets are small and lethal. That's why we fear them. They're small but extremely dangerous."

"Like me?" I asked, hopefully.

He squinted his eyes at me, "are you okay? Like... Do you wanna go to maybe a hospital? I am worried for you... Are you fine?"

My face dropped. Of course. Small Park Jimin. Looks extremely harmless. What can he do. He can stand as a bystander at most. He can't even walk without tripping. He will never be strong. Heck no. It's Park Jimin we are talking about. Lonely. Emotional. Freak.

"I have to go," I said and made a move towards the other direction from where he was standing.

"Wrong way." I heard.

"Huh?"

"Those two ran that way. There's one hundred percent chance they are hiding there. It's also their region. I won't be able to save you like I just now did."

I gulped and turned around. Those two looked far more scarier than he does. There's no way I can take them. And I want to live not die.

"Okay then. I will go this way."

"This is our region. And I'm pretty sure I have never seen you face in this part of the city. Or any part for that reason. I have all rights to kill you."

Okay. He is  _not_ nice at all.

I huffed. "Well, what am I supposed to do then? STAND in the middle of the two regions' boundary?"

"Or how about you go back to where you came from?"

My eyes went wide. That's impossible. I'll die. I'll actually be murdered.

I thought about the situation.

I go right, I will die. 

I go left, I will die.

I go back, I will still die. 

I go forward, there's a river and I don't how to swim, so again, I will fucking die.

_I am going to die._

"Well, if I go back it's the same. I will still be killed. So I guess I will die here than there."  
I said with a sad tone.

Life is unfair. When you want to die, it keeps you alive. When you want to live, it kills you. Maybe life just doesn't like me. Maybe it wants me out of the picture.

"Did you, perhaps, run away from your home?" He asked. He sounded a bit... Curious. Not in a judgemental way but in a... I-want-to-know-your-story way.

"If you can call that a home." I shuddered at the thought of it being a home. That place is and will never be my home. Home is where you feel comfort and safe and secure and loved. And I felt none of those. That is a building. It's not a home. 

"Follow me."

I heard him and when I looked up his figure was retreating towards a motorbike. How didn't I see that?

I stood still though. How can I move? How can I trust him?

"How do I know you won't kill me?"

"You don't."

I saw him smile before he put on his helmet. His words made me doubt his intention but his smile was too warm to let it slide.

I walked slowly towards him and he motioned for me to get on. Before I did, however, I asked, "What's you name, mister?"

"Mister?" He chuckled, "That's cute. How old are you? And I am RM."

"Just two letters?"

"Yep, that's what they call me."

"Oh."

"What's yours?"

I was gonna reply but then I realized he didn't even say his real name why would I? I need to make up a name.

"Um..."

He chuckled before answering his own question, "I'll call you  _Mochi_. Cause you for some reason remind me of that sweet."

"16."

I didn't have to elaborate for him to know that was my age. He nodded and I got on the bike.

_Mochi. I quite like that name._

~~~


	10. Safe and Sound

_"You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now." ~ Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift._

**Jimin's** **POV:**

It was twenty minutes later I found myself sitting in front of five other guys. Two of them were glaring at me. The other four had the most confused look on their face. And then there was RM... With a grin on his face as he sat next to me.

The two who were glaring seemed to glare at both of us. Except I was the only one intimidated. RM could care less about it. Maybe he's used to it.

"So," the other tall guy in the place started, "wanna explain?"

He had purple and blue dyed hair. It looked pretty. Like a flower. And he looked way too handsome too. A handsome flower. Yeah. That's what he was. A handsome flower.

"Um... Well, you see, Ji-"

"Prince."

RM was cut off by the guy. He gave RM a look before turning to me and going, "Who are you? What are you doing here? Why are you here? Are you from the other gang? Are you here undercover? I swear I won't think twice to deck you hard."

Scared. Is an understatement. I was terrified to another extent.

"Haish. Seriously, he looks like a little baby and you are questioning him so hard."

Another one said. This one looked a bit young. Too young. He had blonde hair. And pretty eyes. Now that I think about it, why are everyone of them so pretty?

"MK, I think we should let it to Prince to take care of this."

The one with red hair said. He smiled at me the moment I made eye contact. He seems nice. Maybe he's better than RM. I don't even know why I'm here in the first place. And it also seems a lot like I'm not invited.

_So there is RM, MK and Prince. Maybe it's code names._

"I say we kick him out right this moment." The cat looking guy said. His glare seemed to have hardened in the midst of everyone talking. It was even more intimidating than before. I looked down.

_Why does he hate me already? On that note, who doesn't?_

"Suga, seriously?" I heard RM. I felt him shaking his head next to me.

"What? He doesn't seem to be wanted here. You are the only one."

"Well, actually I don't mind having him here," said the red head.

"Thanks, Hope-ah."

_Hope? That's a cute name._

"And neither do I."

MK said. I looked up at them both who looked at me and smiled. They seemed to be taken aback. But smiled back nevertheless.

"What do you say, JK?" I heard Prince.

We all turned towards the only one left, who was also the other one glaring at me. He shrugged.

Everyone except me and the cat guy sighed.

"That was helpful, thanks," Prince said, sarcastically.

"Well, it seems we have to wait for V considering that it's kind of a draw between having him and not having him." Hope said.

"Draw? We can still kick him out." Suga said.

I pouted. Why did he hate me so much?

"I'M BACK!" I heard a very familiar voice. I lifted my head up.

"Talk about the devil and it may appear," MK said.

"WHERE ARE YOU GUYS?" I remember. It's the pretty stranger. IT'S THE PRETTY STRANGER.

I ran towards his voice as everyone got startled and followed me.

"I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD KICK HIM OUT."

"JK, DON'T TAKE THE GUN, DAMMIT. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS GONNA DO."

"WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!"

"NOT THE FUCKING TIME, PRINCE!"

I ran and paused to hear the sound again.

"WHY IS HE TINY AND SO FAST?!"

"I DON'T KNOW BUT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO V."

I heard a growl at that.

"GUYS? WHY DO I HEAR THUMPING? THE FUCK?"

I heard him and ran and as soon as I saw him standing in front of the door I launched myself at him. He seemed to sense a human missile being launched as he turned around petrified before catching me.

I looked up at him and smiled before hugging him.

His eyes lit up as he realised who I was.

"AWW, what is a baby like you doing here?"

I don't like when someone calls me baby. But he can always be an exception.

"V! ARE YOU ALRIGHT- what the fuck?" I heard Suga.

"Oh hey guys! He seems to be lost! Jimin, was it?" He asked as I nodded.

"You know him?" RM asked.

"Yup! I met him before! In a park while playing!" He laughed out loud and he sounded angelic. I hugged him again.

"Aww, he seems to love me a lot."

"I think we need some explanation." RM said, furrowing his eyebrows in process.

~~~

After a ten minute explanation on what actually had happened and how we met. Everyone sat down in silence. Except this time the pretty stranger, who goes by the name V, sat next to me.

I felt safe just being next to him. He made me feel secure in a room of strangers.

"So, V knows... Jimin?"

I nodded furiously and hugged V. I heard a growl I looked up to see JK glaring at me.

"Not now, Kook." Huh?

"V!" Hope screamed.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Names!" Prince whisper-shouted.

"Seriously? I trust him, okay. And I have a reason to do so. Trust me. He is a nice, small boy." V said and smiled at me with his box smile. It's only right if I smile back at him with my unique smile.

We heard a sniffle.

"What? It's cute, okay! And I'm emotional!" MK said.

Everyone shook their head except for me.

RM sighed before saying, "Well, seems like we can in fact trust you. So I guess you can stay here for a while."

"Are you fucking with me?"

"Not now, Suga. But it's only till you find your own place. Until then you can stay here."

_Maybe running away wasn't so bad._

~~~

 


	11. Demons

__

_"They say it's what you make, I say it's upto fate." ~ Demons by Imagine Dragons._

**Jimin's POV:**

When I ran away... I did not expect to find a place to stay in. I remember when I used to be small. I remember when I got a cut in leg and no one wanted to help me. No one took me to the nurse room. People either laughed at me or stared at me. Except this one kid, who's name I never got, he took me to the nurse room. I never saw him after that day. But I learnt two things that day. One, there ARE good people left in this world. Two, I am gay.

I mean it was years later I realized I liked him. To be exact, five years later. I was six when I met him. I tried all sorts of ways to see him. He was the president of his class. That's all I knew. I didn't have friends to ask what his name was. But I was happy with just this. Watching him from afar. 

_I did have one friend whom I would never talk about. They just carry all the bad memories._

Though, I wish I knew him personally too. But it's fine. It's over.

Thinking back in time, made me smile.

It was those times when you could be anyone who you wanted. You didn't have to think twice. You were never questioned. You could live. Not just survive. There was always someone to help us up. Childhood was something we can never get back but always yearn to go back to.

It was the time where everything seemed possible. The time where life was being lead. The time life was happy. The feeling of happiness that we tend to lose when we grow up. Childhood had it all. Maybe that's why it's hard to remember some parts. Humans tend to forget the good easier. It has no strings attached with us. Whilst the bad memories are scarred. They are attached in such a way you can't forget.

Maybe that's why we can't remember all the good.

I sighed.

When...

When did it all change...

When did we start growing up?

Why did we?

How are we expected to know everything now?

I am just a sixteen year old who gets underestimated in everything he does. What's there I can do?

They gave the whole world. They dropped it in my fragile hands while I was asking to be pulled out of the quicksand. They dropped it. And the weighing reality started to drown me. I was ten. Where did my innocence go?

When did the demons build their home in me and destroyed the home of mine?

I can still hear them. I can hear them loud and clear. They never shut up, do they?

I felt a tear slide through.

Maybe... Hopefully... Life can get better.

But where's that promise.

Where's the family when I need them.

Where's the protection when I need them.

I am JUST sixteen, right?

Why am I here, then?

Why am I here in a strange place filled with strangers?

No one can answer.

No one will.

There's no one after all...

... Just me and my demons.

**~~~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLD ON okay this is like a filler chapter that's why it is smoll. AND Imma try writing fast. Imma write write and try to finish it jshdfy SO YES


	12. On My Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK!

__

_"I draw the blinds, they don't need to see me cry." ~ On My Way by Alan Walker ft. Sabrina Carpenter & Farruko._

**_~2 Weeks Later~_ **

**Jimin's POV** :

It's been two weeks and I still haven't found a place to stay. But I did learn things about the guys staying here. Well, including the fact that there aren't just seven people staying here. The more you walk inside the garage (which they call as their home but I don't understand why), the more rooms you find. It kept appearing one by one by one. Each one had two names written on their doors. Well except for some people I guess.

Everyone seems to have a code name kind of thing. I forgot what V called JK that other day. But I remember one thing for sure... JK loathed me.

I shuddered when I remembered his glare at me everytime V spoke to me. Maybe... He likes him? And he just has a  _really_  bad way of showing it.

In this two weeks, I have learnt two things, one; they aren't just normal people and their job is got to be something considered 'bad'. I don't exactly know what it is but everytime I hear a scream from the last room of the garage... It doesn't sound happy. It almost sounds like the last scream of that person's life. It was the kind of sound that leaves goosebumps on you. The bad kind.  

Two; sometimes it is better to not open certain doors no matter how curious you are to do so. Like, how I went like a dumb hobo and opened the door that had the name 'Suga' written on it just cause I was curious. I almost got shot. You heard it, he had a gun in his hand. A  _gun_. And his first response to someone opening the door? Shoot their brains off. For once I was thankful for being short. I couldn't even scream at the shock the gun shot caused me. All I remember was his expression change and how he slammed the door shut while V came running to me. And... well the waterworks started. I cried. What else can I, a sixteen year old, do? 

Two lessons learnt. I never opened a door after that. I only went to V when I needed to talk to someone. It felt lonely when there is no one to talk to... But I was used to it. The feeling of loneliness. It wasn't anything new. I have been lonely half my life.

I sighed. 

These thoughts... they keep coming back even when I don't need them to. They keep crawling back to the head. It sometimes feels like there is no place I can be without them occupying my thoughts. It brings back memories. It brings back so many memories and none of them are the good kind. Sometimes, I just want to disappear from the world and dig a hole to stay in. I wish to live almost like a hobbit, except without anyone knowing me.

_You almost make it sound like this life is bad. Have you forgotten-_

*tock*

I felt something hard hit my head. I looked to my left to see a ball of paper... with a stone in it. No wonder it hurt a bit. I turned around to see who it could have been and there stood, MK with a smile on his face.

"Overthinking is bad for your health."

He walked over to me as I rubbed my head. 

_He didn't have to throw a stone at me though._

"What's that in your hand?" He asked and I looked at him confusedly.

_Didn't he throw it?_

"Didn't you throw it at me?" I asked.

He blinked at me before saying, "Um... no. I am not that rude. I was going to call you and talk to you. I wouldn't throw stuff."

He chuckled a bit. Well, no one will know who threw it then. 

"A penny for your thoughts?" He asked.

"Just thinking about what had happened the past whole month, I guess." I looked at him with a slight smile.

"I wanted to ask you... why  _did_  you run away in the first place?" He raised his eyebrows at me, "I mean you are what... 14? 15?-"

"16."

"-16? You must have had a reason to run away. You don't seem familiar and from what V says... You seem to be from a nearby town but a little far away."

"Really far away."

"Well, then why did you run away?"

I thought about it.  _Why did I run away?_   _To start a new life? Like a coward? From pain? Seeking pleasure? Why did I run away?_

"You don't have to answer if you don't like to, Jimin." He smiled, "Trust grows as time goes. If you want to answer you don't have to. Don't feel pressured."

He was someone who seemed trustworthy. Him and V. 

"Abusive Household..." I muttered.

"What?" 

"Abusive Household," I said and he looked at me with what seemed like pity.

"Mark." 

"What?" Confused would be an understatement. He just said a random name out of nowhere with no context, how else am I supposed to react?

"My name. It's Mark. They call me MK but... you can call me Mark." He smiled at me and the utter thought that he trusted me enough to tell me his name... I smiled at him.

"That's a nice name. How old are you?" I asked him.

"I am older than you by four years." He chuckled as I looked at him with wide eyes.

"But you look so young! How's that fair?" I pouted.

He laughed before saying, "you look like a 14 year old. I am pretty sure that's younger than your real age."

I whined, "Don't make fun of my heighttt! I maybe small but I am vicious." 

"As vicious as a duckling." He said and pinched my cheeks. 

I pouted.

"THERE! Duckling." He laughed and hugged me as I whined at him. He started tickling me till I let out a laugh. 

"There your cute little laugh," he said and hugged me again, "I know it must have been tough and you have a lot in your head that a normal 16 year old shouldn't but I just want to let you know, till you are staying here you can always come to me if you need anything. I don't know much about physical abuse but I have my own history, that I am not going to tell now but soon. But my point is that, if you ever feel the thoughts taking over, come to me. I am literally always here. Not jobless but I am here. And sometimes just feeling the presence of someone your thoughts can be paused. So next time you start to overthink? Sprint to my room and throw yourself on me. I don't mind having a random hug from a cute duckling like you."

Tears. That was the only thing that came out of me. It is one thing when a person says they want to put you under a roof and another thing to actually take care of you. Taking care is a responsibility not a lot of people want. To have someone to say that you are not alone and you don't always have to feel lonely... Is heart-warming. I sniffled and uttered how grateful I was. It might have been just a small thanks but we both knew it meant more. Meaning behind small words are bigger than people can imagine.

_Maybe life isn't all bad, after all. . . At least for now it isn't._

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yehet. Sorry for arriving like once in a blue moon. jhgjdfg WHY AM I SO LATE IN UPDATING? IDK. but oh well. :)


	13. Wake Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM ALIVE, Y'ALL.

_"Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are." ~ Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day._

**Jimin's POV:**

It's been two days since I spoke to Mark Hyung. He said I can call him Hyung. I think I teared up at that too. I still remember what he said...

_"Until you find a home, you can console to me as if I am one."_

Yeah. Salt water reservoir broke from my eyes. I chuckled remembering how I cried just day before yesterday. 

V trusting me and letting me know his name broke me down even more.  _Taehyung_. 

Never have I had people trusting me so much with secrets. Especially that required great level of trust. I wonder if I leave this place... will they regret telling me? 

I sighed. There really can't be one happy thought that stays for more than five minutes in my brain, can it? 

Just two weeks back, I ran away. I ran away from the hell I used to live in two weeks before. Has it really been two weeks? There was no news of me anywhere. He really didn't care. It hurt. Knowing no one cared. And ones who do... has to leave. 

"You think a lot for a sixteen year old."

I let out a shriek as it startled me. I looked at the person who stood next to me with a funny look as they stared at me.  _RM_.

"That... wasn't funny..." I uttered.

"I am sorry. I would expect strangers to be extremely conscious about their surroundings in a new place." He smirked.

"Still... wasn't funny..."

"Oh well," he laughed, "how have you been?"

I thought for a second because 'alive' didn't seem to be a good enough answer for me. "Here and there. Hanging on, I guess."

"Hmmhm," there was a silence. We stared at the lights of the city in front of us. Almost like stars on earth. The sound of traffic clinging onto the air making it sound like an annoying musical. I snorted at the thought.  _Annoying Musical._

"Have you spoke to anyone here yet?" He asked with a small smile as he stared at me.

I nodded, "Mark Hyung and Taehyung Hyung."

I turned to see his face which held a look of shock. Why is he shock-

Ah... 

"They told me their names... They said they trust me enough to do so."

"I see... It's just... They both are one of the most skeptical when it comes to telling their names." He glanced at me. "They must trust you a lot... in such a short span of time."

"I don't know how it works either. Never been trusted with something my whole life." I said as I looked down. I heard him say something but my eyes were focused on the two silhouettes that were walking out. 

"-had been." I turned to him confused.

"Did you say something?" 

"Not really. What distracted you though?" He smiled.

"Two people walked out of here... I was wondering who they were." I said, with furrowed eyebrows. 

"Well... Probably job," He shrugged.

"Are you sure? What if they weren't anyone you knew? What if they came to take something?" I asked with wide eyes.

He stared at me. More like at my eyes as if he was stripping off my character. Figuring out if there is a lie. I tilted my head.

"I get why Mark and Taehyung trust you." He smiled at me but this time with a big smile that showed his dimples. "And to answer your question that was Suga and Prince. Probably had some work that I just gave them."

My mouth formed a 'o' and I looked back at the gate which was closed. 

"Namjoon."

I have gone through this twice and I don't have to be told thrice that it's his name. I smiled at him and said, "You trust me too?"

"Don't get too ahead, I can still blow your brains off." He said, smirking.

I chuckled as I stared back at the city lights. 

"What do you guys do for a living?" I asked, "I keep hearing screams and they, honestly, don't sound happy in any form."

"Well, I'd hope it doesn't sound happy either." He said with a monotonous voice that kind of scared me. I haven't heard him talk like that towards anyone.

"To answer your question, I don't know how you will take it in or if you will still want to even stay here. You may want to run away but I can only hope you don't tell us about to anyone. But..." He sighed as I prepared myself, "We are a mafia."

I looked a bit cryptic as I asked, "Mafia as in?"

"Ya know, the normal. Killing. Shooting. Murder."

"Those three words are basically synonyms of the other."

"That's the only thing you got from the sentence I said?"

"Kind of."

He laughed at me and shook his head. 

"You are weird." He said, his eyes crinkling in the ends as if he was enlightened that I was so.

"Good or bad?"

"Definitely good." 

I stuck out my tongue and he looked extremely amused. 

"I expected you to run. Not gonna lie."

"Well, that is what I have been doing all my life. Gotta rest for a bit somewhere before I run again." I said and asked, "But what do all of you do?"

He shook his head once more before answering me. "Our name is Bangtan and I am the leader here." He looked so proud and happy at that.  _Happiness looks great on people_.

"The first person I met was J Hope. He was selling drugs. Well, he still does. He is out drug dealer. He knows everything about drugs but he  doesn't ingest any which is surprising for almost all of us. But I guess that's how he is. He knows what drug to use where. I found him on the streets... Much like everyone.

"Then came Suga. Assassin. I can't tell much about him except for the fact that he was someone who killed for money. I guess at one point it turned away from money's aspect. I found him on the streets too. Sad and alone. Took him in.

"JK was next to come to this humble abode." I giggled at the way he referred to the place. "That kid had a hard wall to break. It was high and strong. He wasn't exactly in the streets. I had to break him out his house. It is not my place to talk about what happened to him but lets just say it wasn't the happiest. But yeah, he came here when he was about 15. Basically two years back. He is our assassin too.

"Then came V or Taehyung, as you know him. I guess he was the reason I also met Ji- Prince. Again, not my place to tell their stories. But lets say Prince saved V and I took them both in. V is our Conman and Prince our Vanguard. 

"Mark was someone we had took in as hostage. He wasn't supposed to join us but," he stopped as he smiled.  _Memories, I guess._  "It was truly unexpected. But we were more than happy to have him with us. He is our spy now. A great one at that.

"Other than us seven, we have more people to back us up. If I start I will keep going on and on about each one of them. It might get tiring." He said with a little disappointed to tone to his voice.

"I don't think I am going anywhere and honestly, it is kinda boring sitting by myself. So I don't really mind hearing you talk about how each one of them are." I smiled at him and sat down criss-crossed on the veranda. He smiled at me and sat down too. 

"So. Before we start you also need to know that we aren't exactly bad. I mean yeah, we commit crimes but, I guess, our ideology is more of 'fight crime with crime'. Anyway, starting it off with our boy S.Coups-"

He sounded extremely excited to talk about them. The kind of excitement that is contagious. He sounded almost like a proud father. I could only smile the whole time. It was obvious. It was very obvious. He saw them all as more than just his team mates. Oh no. He saw them as his own family who he felt the need to protect at every turn and twist. It was obvious. It kind of made me feel envious. Only if I could join this family too. But I knew it would be impossible. Hopefully I would be able to someday. Or maybe I won't. Would they even consider? No way. But I don't mind hearing him go on and on about them. 

_I want a family too._


End file.
